I would like to further our discussion from earlier in the week about various phrases and idioms that we hear or used to hear when we were kids.
I’ll get this party started as best I can.
For Sneezing, I have heard (and I’m sure there are many more):
- Bless You
- God Bless You
- Gesundheit!
- “Bless us and save us, said Old Mrs. Davis”
When you are hot, or it is hot outside:
- Hotter’n two rats fucking in a wool sock!
- Hotter’n the hubs on a merry-go-round.
- Sweatin’ like a sow
When you are cold, or it is cold outside:
- It’s colder than blue blazes.
- It’s colder than a witches tit out here.
- Colder than a well diggers ass.
If you are nervous:
- I’m as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
- I’m as nervous as a queer at a wiener roast.
And a few more off the wall ones for good measure:
- That’s the best thing since sliced bread.
- You can’t polish a turd.
- You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.
- That’d go over like a fart in church.
I find it funny when I hear someone pronounce wash as “worsh”, or water as “whuter”.
I was out with some friends one time, and there was this smokin’ hot girl walking by. Not your everyday pretty girl, this girl was b-e-a-utiful in every since of the word. My buddy calmly said, “I’d drag my balls through a mile of broken glass just to hear her fart over a walkie talkie.” That’s quality my friends, true quality. (I think he was pretty doped up on orovo detox.)
So what about you? Tell me what strange phrases and words you love, or hate.
Tags: Best Thing Since Sliced Bread, Blue Blazes, Broken Glass, Detox, fart, Good Measure, Hot Girl, Hubs, Phrases And Idioms, Pretty Girl, Rocking Chairs, Silk Purse, Strange Idioms, Tailed Cat, True Quality, Turd, Utiful, Walkie Talkie, Wiener Roast, Witches, Wool Sock
Entries (RSS)
French speakers say, “sante” when someone sneezes.
You should talk to my grandfather. He has more of these than any human being I have ever met. Unfortunatley, I don’t think I can repeat most of them here, but there a few that are ok. He has also developed his own vocabulary and system of spelling to go along with his idioms.
1) One time I ran over a chain with a hay mower and screwed it up royally. While we were working on it he got frustrated with it and he looked at me and said, “YOU KNOW, YOU COULD FUCK UP A FREIGHT TRAIN.”
2) Another time we were walking around a pasture field clearing limbs off of the fencing when I commented that there seemed to be a bunch of dead trees, to which he replied, “IT’S THAT GOD DAMNED AIR COMPLUTION.”
3) Yet another time we were using a generator when it started to rain, I said something about turning off the generator and said, “you had better not touch that thing while it’s raining or you will get ELEXECUTED.”
We always said “Hotter’n blue blazes” - not colder. Colder was “than a witches teat.” The Evil Twin often says “Hotter’n the hinges of Hades”. I don’t know where he got that one from. My dad used the phrase “Do what?” when asking someone to repeat themselves. My husband says the same thing and is the only other person I’ve ever heard doing that.
Another phrase I got from my husband: “Uglier than a bag of assholes…. with all the pretty ones taken out.”
And an unwise move will “go over like a turd in a punchbowl.”
I know I have more, but it’s not even 7:30 and I’m only half awake. I’ll have to think on this a bit more (with coffee!).
Evil Twin’s Wifes last blog post..You Animal!
We always said “hotter than blue blazes” too (the blue part of the flame being hotter than the yellow.) As far as phrases, you really covered them all for me, I think. We just kind of make up our own. Our favorites were always coming up with new shorts - you know “he’s a few bricks short of a chimney?” You can get REAL creative with that.
Kyras last blog post..Overhead
My fav is “I am busier than a one legged man at a butt kicking contest”
Christinas last blog post..Noodles
On Looks:
Uglier than a ‘2-butt mule’
On Dumb:
“You can’t out-stupid her/him”
Sexual Drive:
“As horny as a 3-balled tomcat”
On Hot:
“Hotter than Texas asphalt”
Efens last blog post..It’s Monday…….Again..Updated
I heard “son, he could talk a dog off a meat wagon.”one day and laughed the entire day….
tims last blog post..77
Garrick - I think grandparents are the best source for real quality lines.
ETW - A bag of assholes? HAHA! That’s great! I gonna make it a point to use that today.
Kyra - A few fries short of a happy meal?
Christina - I like that one to!
Efen - I’ve never heard about the 3 balled tomcat.
Tim - I heard “Gag a maggot off a gut wagon” one time.
My two favorites are the two my mom has always used:
“That puppy/kitten/baby is no bigger than a popcorn fart.”
“He/She/It is dumber than bat shit.”
Yep. That’s my mom. Quality hillbilly.
Coal Miner’s Granddaughters last blog post..My Boring-Ass Life, Part Deux
CMG - Hillbillies are full of awesome. Got your package today. I will post about it soon. Thanks!
About as pretty as the north side of a southbound mule.
I’ve grown up with the expression…”nervous as a whore in church”, which is an oldie but, a goodie!