Posts Tagged “Wheel”

I was on my way home from work Thursday and the front drivers side hubcap came off my car. It wasn’t just a minor thing either. The hubcap leaped from my wheel, crashed into my side mirror, and then proceeded to roll along beside me where it mercilessly got ran over by a truck and two cars. I didn’t stick around either. I hauled ass outta there as quick as I could. The last thing I need is to have some asshole yelling at me for something that was beyond my control, and I know one of the three would have been. I don’t know what it is about my wheels and hubcaps, but they won’t stay on. I have went through no less than 16 hubcaps in the past 7 years. Have you ever had a vehicle that the hubcaps won’t stay on, or have you ever been hit by a run away hubcap?

That reminds me of another story. I was riding along route 19 with my uncle several years ago, when the minivan in front of us suddenly lost it’s wheel, tire and all. I don’t know if I was more impressed with the shower of sparks that were spewing from the axle that was schlepping along the asphalt, or with the tire that continued along its merry way another mile or so up the interstate, across the median, and into incoming traffic. I got a laugh out of the people who were honking their horn at the rogue tire, as if it were going to move itself out of the way. Sure, it was a little dangerous, but it was funny.

Fortunately, no one got hurt, in either incident. Except for the axle of the minivan.

I’m not a person that is too much into celebrity gossip, but I heard Ellen was going to be replacing Paula Abdul as a judge on American Idol. Ellen? What can she bring to table? She can be funny, at times,  but a judge on Idol? I just don’t see her fitting in there. Somewhere in the near future I expect to see Paula on the Ellen show and Ellen offer her the position back or something like that. I see it as a marketing ploy, but time will tell.

Did anyone else see Kanye West take the microphone from Taylor Swift during her MTV award speech?  What a douche! Glad to see her put it behind her quickly and put on a great performance only moments later. From the subway to directly in front of Radio City Music Hall, she had the whole place screaming for her.

And that is gonna have to do it for this update folks. I hope to get back to doing this on a regular basis again. 

Tags: American Idol, Asphalt, Ass Outta, asshole, Celebrity Gossip, Ellen Show, Hubcaps, Incoming Traffic, Kanye West, Laugh, Median, Merry Way, Microphone, Minivan, Mtv, Paula Abdul, Ploy, Route 19, Side Mirror, Sparks, Taylor Swift, Two Cars, Wheel, Wheels

Random Unrelated Image: Doggy Style

Whenever I’m taking a test to see if I’m psychic, when the test-giver asks, “What am I thinking?” The answer is always the same, “I would really like to fuck you.” They probably do. This applies if the test-giver is male or female.

I like dogs. Really I do. They’re just not all that complicated. There are about a half-dozen moods that a canine can go through within its’ lifetime: hungry, happy, sad, angry, horny, scared, and just-about-to-shit-on-the-carpet. I think that’s about it.

I set my alarm last night, as usual. Unfortunately, since I was reading a fantastic book till all hours of the day, I only left myself with about 4 hours of sleep before heading off to work. Usually, that’s not a problem for me. I estimate that somewhere around 3AM, my brain decided that we were going to get a full 8 hours of rest. My brain is really quite clever sometimes. I have to give it credit. How did it do such an insidious task? With a masterful plan. It delivered a nice, boring-yet-realistic dream where it’s Sunday morning, and I’ve set the alarm so I can get up before the family and have some “me” time. Brilliance on his part, because he knows I’d never wake up at 4 to go to do this. So obviously when 4 rolls around, I stand up, let laziness take the wheel, turn the alarm off, and roll back into bed. Round one goes to you, bastard. I think it’s time for a new alarm clock.

If I continue to hang out with international-type people, I’ll have to remember to remodel my bathroom. After all, if I plan on having French people over, they’ll need one of those ass-fountains, and perhaps a supply of fat burners.

Tags: Alarm Clock, Bastard, Brain, Brilliance, Carpet, Doggy, dogs, Fountains, French People, Horny, Hours Of Sleep, Lifetime, Masterful Plan, Moods, New Alarm, Random Image, random thoughts, Realistic Dream, Shit, Sleep, Sunday Morning, Wheel

Random Unrelated Image: Homegirls!

In yet another thrilling State Fair of WV post I give you a crazy guy flipping a bicycle!

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t that thrilling, or crazy. Let’s just say it was different. Most BMX guys do flips in mid air and let go of the handlebars while grabbing the seat and putting their feet behind their head and a thumb up their ass. Not this guy. He safely keeps at least one wheel on the ground at all times while making sure his helmet stays fastened securely to his head.

Mr. BMX Safety Rider, You Rock! Keep watching your mail for one of my Halloween invitations!

Tags: bicycle, bmx, Crazy Guy, fair, Flips, Halloween, Halloween Invitations, Handlebars, Helmet, Homegirls, Mail, Mid Air, state fair, Thumb, West Virginia, Wheel, wv