Posts Tagged “poems”

Random Unrelated Image: Meet A Black Man

Dear Lord, we ask you if you will,
put your blessing on this meal.
We ask you Father, if it pleases,
protect us from these new diseases.

Please bless the spinach, and the romaine.
And cleanse it of some lurking ptomaine.
God, bless our ice cream and our cola.
Pray it’s not teaming with ebola.

And pray the deli didn’t sell us
coleslaw ripe with salmonellus.
We also ask a special blessing;
no botulism in the dressing.

While we regard your higher power,
make sure the deviled eggs aren’t sour.
And please Lord, bless our sirloin tip,
and purge it of E. Coli’s grip.

A special blessing on the sherry,
oh Lord, we need no dysentery,
so it not poisons, nor impacts,
or liquefies our lower tracts.

And Lord, make sure no one is able
to get sick and die upon this table.
So bless, Lord, all this food we share.
Insure no deadly virus there.

And once we’re full and satiated,
we pray we aren’t all contaminated,
and wind up just another toll,
for the Center for Disease Control.

One last thing Lord, if it’s OK,
Please hold this blessing that we pray.
For all this fear, and all this fright,
has made us lose our appetite.

WOMAN’S POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to “how big is my behind?”
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

MAN’S POEM
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor
store, a golf course, and a set of Callaway irons. This doesn’t rhyme and I don’t care.