Posts Tagged “people”

The wife and I usually sit down and watch this show during the weekends. We have always thought it would only be a matter of time before Tom Arnold made his way to the Mountain State to convince a couple that was getting married to act extra Redneck-y in front of a camera for some money.

So, I wasn’t all that surprised when I read a post this morning hinting that this weekends show was filmed in WV. I did a few quick google searches, and sure enough, this weekends show stars a couple from Clarksburg, WV.

I can only hope that the people in the background (the ones not getting paid) do show some sort of decency while on camera. I have a feeling though, that there will be a fella with a “Who Farted” hat in about every scene….

Tags: Act, Background, Caption, Decency, Extra, Fella, google, Google Searches, Matter Of Time, money, people, Redneck Wedding, Tom Arnold, Wedding Virginia, West Virginia

• 

  Vain:  You love the smell of your own farts.

• Amiable:  You love the smell of other people’s farts.

• Proud:  You think your farts are exceptionally fine.

• Shy:  You release silent farts and then blush.

• Impudent:  You boldly fart out loud and then laugh.

• Unfortunate:  You try really hard to fart, but you poop instead.

• Scientific:  You fart regularly but you’re concerned about pollution.

• Nervous:  You stop in the middle of your fart.

• Honest:  You admit that you farted but offer good medical reasons.

• Dishonest:  You far and then blame the dog.

• Foolish:  You suppress your farts for hours.

• Thrifty:  You always keep a couple of good farts in reserve.

• Anti-Social:  When the need arises, you excuse yourself from the room and fart in private.

• Strategic:  You fart and then conceal it with loud coughing.

• Sadistic:  You fart in bed and then pull the cover up over your partner’s head.

• Intellectual:  You can determine from the smell of any fart exactly what food item had been consumed.

• Athletic:  You fart at the slightest exertion.

• Miserable:  You would love to let one out, but you are unable to fart.

• Sensitive:  You fart and then start crying.

Does anyone know of any retail franchises that sales the above pictured undies? I would love to buy some.

Tags: Dog Farts, Exertion, fart, Intellectual, Laugh, love, Medical Reasons, Partner, people, Pollution, poop, Retail Franchises, Silent Farts, Thrifty, Undies

What’s the deal with baby strollers these days? My wife was in the dressing room of a store this past weekend when I was nearly run down and maimed while waiting for her in the next aisle. It was a baby stroller, but there was no baby in it. This lady had the damn thing packed to the top with shopping bags and watching her maneuver it through the tight aisles in the overcrowded store was pretty funny until she came my way.

Like I said, it was packed like the Grinch’s sleigh without a baby anywhere in sight. Yet, when I didn’t yield the entire aisle to her, she gave me one of those Armed Parent Militia coldcock stares that said, “Can’t you see I’m a fucking parent with a fucking BABY STROLLER??!!?? Move it, lardass!” She made me feel as if I needed to hire a real estate agent so I could buy myself some floor space. I noticed that other customers moved very quickly out of her way when they glimpsed the baby stroller, so I think I smell a rat.

Again, no baby (unless she’d just bought it).

Is this common where you live? Baby stroller shopping with no baby? I’ve actually seen a couple of stores place a sign out front that said, “No baby strollers, please.”

I am a proud parent myself, and I have to say that people like this tend to ruin things for those of us that actually use baby strollers to stroll our babies. On second thought, maybe she left her kid in the dressing room or something. Come to think of it, it was probably sleeping quietly under the 37 pounds of goods she was toting around.

Tags: Aisles, babies, Baby Shopping, Baby Stroller, Baby Strollers, Damn Thing, Dressing Room, Floor Space, Fucking Baby, Grinch, Militia, Next Aisle, people, Proud Parent, Rat, Real Estate Agent, Second Thought, Shopping Bags, Stares, Tight