Posts Tagged “money”

Usually all we here about from Nigeria is the spammers that are trying to get your money or international credit cards. This is far from the norm. I must say that this little story gave me a chuckle while reading the news today. Apparently a man in Nigeria has 86 wives and 170 children.

You can read the full article or just read some of my favorite parts of it below.

“A man with 10 wives would collapse and die, but my own power is given by Allah. That is why I have been able to control 86 of them,” he told the BBC.

“To my understanding the Koran does not place a limit and it is up to what your own power, your own endowment and ability allows,” he says.

“As soon as I met him the headache was gone,” says Sharifat Bello Abubakar, who was 25 at the time and Mr Bello Abubakar 74.

On the other hand, if we’re speaking evolutionarily here, 170 offspring is pretty damn successful. And even if he slept with one wife every night, he wouldn’t go through the entire rotation for almost 3 months. That’s sure to keep the marital boredom away, for him, at least.

So, what do you say? What is the maximum number of spouses/mistresses that you could tolerate? This man says that the average husband could only deal with 10 wives before collapsing. In Nepal, there is a culture where individual women typically marry a set of brothers, so they are the ones with 3-4 husbands instead of the other way around. Not a bad deal, but the management might drive a person batty. I’ll stick with one.

Tags: Abubakar, Allah, Bad Management, Bbc, Boredom, Control, Culture, Endowment, Headache, International Credit Cards, Koran, Maximum Number, Met, Mistresses, money, Nepal, News Today, Nigeria, Norm, Offspring, Reading The News, Spammers

Steve Kreuscher wants a judge to allow him to legally change his name. He wants to be known as “In God We Trust.”

Kreuscher says the new name would symbolize the help God gave him through tough times.

The 57-year-old man also told the (Arlington Heights) Daily Herald he’s worried that atheists may succeed in removing the phrase “In God We Trust” from U.S. currency.

He recalls that the phrase “God Reigns” was removed from the Zion city seal in 1992 after courts deemed it unconstitutional. Zion was founded as a theocracy - by a sect that believed the Earth was flat.

The school bus driver and amateur artist in the northern Chicago suburb says he has filed a petition to change his name in Lake County Circuit Court.

Tags: money, name

An aspiring record label owner is singing the blues after he was arrested last week for allegedly trying to pass a $360 billion check at a Fort Worth bank.

Employees at the Chase Bank at 8601 S. Hulen St. grew suspicious after seeing all those zeros (10 to be exact) and called the check’s owner. The woman said the suspect, Charles Ray Fuller, 21, of Crowley, is her daughter’s boyfriend and that he did not have permission to take the check or cash it.

Fuller was arrested on suspicion of fraud, along with unlawfully carrying a weapon and possession of marijuana after officers found less than 2 ounces of the drug and a .25-caliber handgun and magazine in his pockets.

While inside a patrol car, police say Fuller blurted out that he is starting his own record label and had been given the money by his girlfriend’s mother to help him start it.

Apparently breaking into the music business does not come cheap.

Luckily for him, bail was a lot less expensive. Fuller was released from Mansfield Jail on Thursday after posting $3,750 bail.

By some rough calculations, even if he had received the sum in $1,000 bills, the payout would have weighed 1,188 tons.

Tags: billion, cash, check, dollars, money

It is almost time for that economic stimulus package that we have been hearing so much about. What are you going to with yours?

If we spend that money at Walmart, all the money will go to China; if we spend it on computers, most of the money will go to Korea or India; if we spend it on gasoline, it will all go to the Arabs…and none of these scenarios will help the American economy.

We need to keep the money here in America so….the only way to do that is to drink beer, gamble, or spend it on prostitution…currently, it seems that these are the only businesses left in the U.S.

I suppose that most of mine will go toward the purchase of Miller Light.

Tags: beer, funny, money, stimulus

Today is my lucky day!

I won the Spanish Lotto!! (For the third time too!).

What am I still doing here at work? I should be home returning that winning e-mail. All I have to do is send my account number to the official lottery guy (I know he’s official because he had a long title and some sort of letters after his name) and within two weeks, I’m $134 million richer. I asked about the two previous winnings. Apparently, they had my old address and the checks are lost in the mail.

I sure hope the Post Office gets all of this straightened out as I am also expecting some other gifts I have won too, such as 3 Ipods, 9 Razr phones, & 14 or 15 laptops. My boyfriend is waiting on the 3000 or so CialIs or Vlagra pills as they are no good to me.

All this excitement today has put a crimp on my daily schedule. I was going to send my bank account number to that lawyer in Nigeria so he could transfer $33 million to my account. Seems his client was the only honest guy in Nigeria and the bad guys, the government bad guys, are trying to steal his money. I get 25 percent! I already quit my extra night job and I’m not so sure I’m coming to work tomorrow. I’ll probably help him out anyway.

The lotto winning couldn’t have come at a better time! This money will come in quite handy. Just yesterday a couple of guys told me they were riding down the street and noticed my roof was damaged. I couldn’t see a thing but they saw it because they’re trained with a keen eyes, being experts and all.

They had business cards that said, “roof experts.” I noticed the ink was smeared a little on their business cards and they said they have so much business that they can’t keep up with the demand for their business cards so they have to print their own!

They took the time to walk with me and point to things on the roof! The $5,000 that I spend now will save me $20,000 next spring. That was a stroke of luck because while we were walking, the other guy found a chip in my driveway. Did you know that one small cement chip could spread, like a crack in the windshield, so fast that in a week’s time it could turn into a sinkhole and affect the ozone layer and cause global warming?

These two guys can actually fix the driveway when they’re not fixing roofs because they’re trained in driveway problems, too.

It was a hot day, so I invited them in for some cold refreshments. One of the guys, I don’t remember if it was Mr. Jones or Smith, said that my water tasted funny. Thankfully, I was able to buy a water filter from one of them whose uncle was in the business. What in the heck is going on here? I had no idea my house was so messed up!

Well, we were standing outside talking about all the new door-dings Mr. Smith found in my car door when my neighbor came home riding on the back of a turnip truck. I guess the truck hit a bump because my neighbor fell right off. Those two guys thanked me for the bad-tasting water, gave me a card so I could call them about the new multi-level marketing idea they wanted to bring me in on, and walked over to see if my neighbor was OK.

They began to look at his roof. Lucky for him! His driveway is asphalt, unlike mine which is concrete, but these guys can coat asphalt drives too! He must look like a suave business guy to them. I went back in the house to check my e-mail only to find that my bank account number was messed up. Thank God the bank was thoughtful enough to send me a notice that I needed to send my bank account number over the Internet so they could fix it.

Good timing. I don’t want my account all messed up when I get all that money from Nigeria and Spain! How lucky can a guyget?!..all of this in one day!

I gotta go now and reply to that winning email and hope the bank gets my account straightened out to prepare for the big deposit.

My ship has finally come in…..!!

Tags: money, riches, wealth