Posts Tagged “lists”

Random Unrelated Image: On The Rails

• The opening ceremony for the Beijieng Olympics was absolutely stunning, especially in HD.
• Michael Phelps is 75% dolphin, and I bet he gets some great hotel deals.
• Israeli girls are hot.
• A lot of these Olympians are in there early twenties or teens.
• Now I fell like and old, semi-pervert.
• Brazilian girls are hot.
• Directv’s coverage of the Olympics is awesome. For those people with advanced boxes, it’s even better because there are several channels dedicated to nothing but the Olympics, and pushing the red button on your remote brings up an interactive Olympic guide that shows what events are coming up, what channels they are on, who has won what medals…etc. I used to have a vendetta against Directv, but after their amazing Masters coverage a few months back, and now this….. I think I am in love with them.
• Enough about the Olympics, let’s move on.
• Pinkster got her first haircut, now she looks like a boy with curly hair and painted toenails.
• A bicycle that has been stored in a garage for over 10 years isn’t much of a bicycle when you get it out to ride it again.
• When using super glue, be sure to wash your hands before you go to the bathroom, especially if you are male.
• There is a bird in Africa called the Ox Pecker, and a coastal bird from South America called the Blue Footed Boobie.
• Just when you think someone isn’t as much of an asshole as he used to be, he becomes twice the asshole that he ever was.
• Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
• My family won’t always be there for me. (Unless I hit the lottery…even then it’s iffy.)
• If you’re having self esteem issues, just go to a state fair. You’ll soon realize that your not so bad after all.

Tags: Animal Crackers, asshole, Blue Footed Boobie, Brazilian Girls, Curly Hair, Directv, Great Hotel, Haircut, Israeli Girls, lists, Masters Coverage, Michael Phelps, Olympians, Olympic Guide, olympics, Opening Ceremony, Ox Pecker, Pervert, Red Button, Self Esteem Issues, Vegetarians, Vendetta

Random Unrelated Image: In Store Test

Staying right on track of being completely random, here are some words of wisdom. Sort of like the Chinese Proverbs that everyone used to go around saying. Some of these I can remember hearing when I was in junior high school.

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, “What the hell happened?”

22. Just remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos.

25. I thought a flash drive was a drive by flashing.

Tags: lists, wisdom