Posts Tagged “jokes”

Wal-Mart (it’s not just for fiber optic cables anymore!) announced that, sometime in 2008, it will begin offering customers a new discount item —- Wal-Mart’s own brand of wine.

The world’s largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2 - $5 range.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but “there is a market for inexpensive wine,” said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at Univ. of Arkansas, Bentonville. “But the right name is important.”

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart varietal. The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:

10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can’t Believe it’s not Vinegar
2. Grape Expectations
1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

The population of the USA is 300 million.

160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 40 million employed by the federal government.

Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces occupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.

Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and
city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188, 000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.