Posts Tagged “dumb shit”

Random Unrelated Image: Come See Pete!

So I called a friend of mine at his house over the weekend. Surprisingly, this is the message that played:

“Hey! Don’t hang up. Please. Leave a message. I mean, you’ve come this far, right? Just say ‘Hi,’ or whatever, but please don’t just hang up. Every time there’s a dial tone on the answering machine my dog freaks and I’m still in the hospital from last time. When I get home, if anyone’s hung up, I may be killed! Please! Don’t just hang up, but leave a message first-BEEP!”

This friend really isn’t known for his comedic genius, hell, I wasn’t aware that he had a sense of humor until this. That jut makes it even better.

Random Unrelated Image: Now That’s A Big Asshole!

I can not: _______________
I would therefore make a bad: ___________

That is how it goes, and this it how it works.

I can not: Fit a live deer in my mouth
I would therefore make a bad: Alligator

I can not: Eat 24 marbles in a minute.
I would therefore make a bad: Hungry-Hungry-Hippo

I can not: Whistle
I would therefore make a bad: Horny construction worker.

I can not: Stay Focused
I would therefore ma

Continue in the comments please….bpm