Posts Tagged “Bastard”

I’m not taking it in. I’ll tell you that right now. However cute it may be, I’m not of a mind to take in a cat. Nor does the wife want a cat. Which is fine by me. Pinkster, however, would be ecstatic.

But…

But as I was taking a quick walk, I was almost back to my home when I heard the distinct meow of a kitten. Foolishly, I stopped, looked around, and spotted a little gray-on-white kitten who ran right up to the wife and me.

So we walked the few remaining steps back to our home, kitten following close behind. I stopped on the porch and sat down in the chair a few minutes before going inside. The kitten hung out by my feet. And that’s when I noticed it had a cough. The wife and I decided there would be no harm in giving it a little food and milk to help it through the night. It devoured both. Before too long I went inside, perfectly content to leave the kitten to its fate. After all, it’s not all that cold this time of year in WV. It might actually survive as a feral cat, or it might find some other sap to take it in.

Then I found myself looking outside through the window every few minutes. The cat was sitting in one of our patio chairs, presumably soaking up the heat remaining from my ample bottom. I decided to take a few old towels and set them on the chair so the kitten could cozy up.

Now, five hours later, the kitten is still sitting on the chair, staring at me with its adorable little kitty-cat eyes every time I peek through the blinds. What am I to do? I’m not taking it in, but I can’t in good conscience let it starve. But is it any better to let it die of exposure? I can’t say that it is. Still, I’ve already done the kitten a huge favor by giving it some food and milk. Surely I’ve added days to its life expectancy. Maybe even given it the chance it needs to survive. How much more would my conscience expect of me?

Tags: Bastard, Blinds, Cat Eyes, Cat Sitting, Conscience, Cough, Cutsey, Fate, Feral Cat, Few Minutes, Kitten, Life Expectancy, Little Food, Little Kitty Cat, Meow, Peek, Porch, Sap, Time Of Year, Towels

Random Unrelated Image: Doggy Style

Whenever I’m taking a test to see if I’m psychic, when the test-giver asks, “What am I thinking?” The answer is always the same, “I would really like to fuck you.” They probably do. This applies if the test-giver is male or female.

I like dogs. Really I do. They’re just not all that complicated. There are about a half-dozen moods that a canine can go through within its’ lifetime: hungry, happy, sad, angry, horny, scared, and just-about-to-shit-on-the-carpet. I think that’s about it.

I set my alarm last night, as usual. Unfortunately, since I was reading a fantastic book till all hours of the day, I only left myself with about 4 hours of sleep before heading off to work. Usually, that’s not a problem for me. I estimate that somewhere around 3AM, my brain decided that we were going to get a full 8 hours of rest. My brain is really quite clever sometimes. I have to give it credit. How did it do such an insidious task? With a masterful plan. It delivered a nice, boring-yet-realistic dream where it’s Sunday morning, and I’ve set the alarm so I can get up before the family and have some “me” time. Brilliance on his part, because he knows I’d never wake up at 4 to go to do this. So obviously when 4 rolls around, I stand up, let laziness take the wheel, turn the alarm off, and roll back into bed. Round one goes to you, bastard. I think it’s time for a new alarm clock.

If I continue to hang out with international-type people, I’ll have to remember to remodel my bathroom. After all, if I plan on having French people over, they’ll need one of those ass-fountains, and perhaps a supply of fat burners.

Tags: Alarm Clock, Bastard, Brain, Brilliance, Carpet, Doggy, dogs, Fountains, French People, Horny, Hours Of Sleep, Lifetime, Masterful Plan, Moods, New Alarm, Random Image, random thoughts, Realistic Dream, Shit, Sleep, Sunday Morning, Wheel