Living in this part of West Virginia has its perks, but some people take it to the extreme.
My neighbor is a perfect example of this. I like the guy, I truly do, but he really pushes the limits around this place.
I live in a small town, on a one lane road that was recently upgraded from a “dirt” road to a road of teeny tiny gravels held together by tar. Sticky tar, mind you. The kind that bubbles up when the Sun beats down on it. The kind that sticks to your tires for a couple of revolutions before coming off and sticking to your paint. Yea, that kind.
It’s a quiet little community, for the most part. There are never any sirens, no train whistles, no flashing lights. Just the occasional sound of dogs barking, and frogs croaking. Until about 10pm, that is.
After 10pm all hell seems to break loose. It sounds like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, only it’s in West Virginia.
My neighbor has every bit of 20+ Stihl Chainsaws in his outbuilding. I kid you not. The man has more chainsaws than everyone else I know, combined.
For some reason, around 10pm on certain nights, he decides to start them, and squeeze the gas wide open on each one until they get “warmed up”.
Did I mention that he wears hearing aids? He does, and I bet you that he turns those baby’s all the way down to drown out the scream of the motors as they cry in pain from the persistent blast of fire in their cylinders.
I don’t think he has any idea of just how loud those things are. I’m not the type of person to complain, and I normally wouldn’t, but when he wakes me, my wife, and my daughter up, on a regular basis, I think it is time we have a talk.
And his wife, oh my God. Her bedroom window is right at the corner where these noise beasts from hell are sitting, screaming, and spewing their obscenities. I don’t understand how she can listen to that, so closely, without going out there, grabbing one of the beasts and dicing him up with it. Hell, even I want to do it sometimes.
I wonder if this is some type of OCD that causes him to do this? I also wonder about what would be the best way to approach him and tell him that he is keeping the entire neighborhood awake for hours on end? I hate to cause trouble with the guy, he seems like a genuinley good person. That, and I don’t want to cause trouble with someone who owns that many chainsaws, either.
Tags: chainsaws, neighbors
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Unless there’s some kind of community board or leader you can complain to, confronting him is really the only option. It sucks, though. Especially because he probably has some kind of bizarre reason for running chainsaws late at night, which no sensible person would do on a regular basis.
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Hopefully that bizarre reason doesn’t turn into a murderous one!
I would say approach him at 9AM, a full 13 hours before the usual chainsaw carnival. Yep. Either than or make a commando raid to trash them all.
Hey, by the way, where do you live? Don’t want to post my suspicions here when you probably don’t want that out on the Web, but do you happen to be near the town near the eastern border and that big ‘ole resort? You know?
Could I be any more vague? “You know, the thing with the guy in the place.” That’s how I roll.
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The commando thing would be fun, but I would probably wind up in jail.
If you’re talking about the world famous Greenbrier Resort, then you would be correct. Although I don’t live in White Sulphur Springs, I do live in the same county, only in a little bitty town of about 200 people on the western side.
That’s right, about 200 people. And believe it or not, they’re starting to choke me out!
I feel your pain. My neighbor mows his lawn every 3-4 days in the summer, beginning at 7:30PM, sometimes after 8PM. Occasionally he has to use the headlight. It’s ridiculous. It’s not like we’re going to bed at that hour, but geez. Sometimes we like to enjoy our evenings out on the patio. We all mow our lawns and I understand we need to make noise, but twice a week?!?! We’re lucky if we do ours every other week. Incredible the level of insensitivity that some people have. Unfortunately, a nice, neighborly talk is in order.
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It is now 8:40 PM on the east coast. My neighbor is out mowing right now. He just had to turn the headlight on. I want to throw a rock at him.
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Go ahead, throw that rock!