Before – Twice a night.
After – Twice a month.

Before – She loves the way I take control of a Situation.
After – She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac.

Before – Ricky & Lucy.
After – Fred & Ethel.

Before – Saturday Night Live.
After – Monday Night Football.

Before – He makes me feel like a million dollars.
After – If I had a dime for every stupid thing he’s done…

Before – Don’t Stop.
After – Don’t Start.

Before – The Sound of Music.
After – The Sound of Silence.

Before – Is that all you are eating?
After – Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.

Before – Wheel of Fortune.
After – Jeopardy.

Before – It’s like living a dream.
After – It’s a nightmare.

Before – $60/dozen.
After – $1.50/stem.

Before – Turbocharged.
After – Needs a jump-start

Before – We agree on everything!
After – Doesn’t she have a mind of her own?

Before – Victoria’s Secret.
After – Fruit of the Loom.

Before – Feathers & handcuffs.
After – Ball and chain.

Before – Idol.
After – Idle.

Before – He’s lost without me.
After – Why can’t he ask for directions?

Before – When together, time stands still.
After – This relationship is going nowhere.

Before – Croissant and cappuccino.
After – Bagels and instant coffee.

Before – Oysters.
After – Fishsticks.

Before – I can hardly believe we found each other.

After – How the hell did I end up with someone like you?

Before – Romeo and Juliet.
After – Bill and Hillary..

more at http://BeforeAndAfterMarriage.com

This makes me wonder if people believe in marriage or even understand what marriage is. There seems to be no small amount of misogynist humor in this. It’s cleverly written, but downing marriage and/or women? Blah. No thanks. Spare me.

misogynist – one who hates women

Oh jeez….

Just reverse the “She” with the “He” and you can bash men for a while. Don’t take it to heart…unless you have a guilty conscious?