* Redneck Valentine Poem *

Collards are green,
my dog’s name is Blue
and I’m so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flappin in the breeze.
Softer than Blue’s
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in may.
You ain’t got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo’re as satisfy’n as okry
jist a-fry’n in the pan.
Yo’re as fragrant as “snuff”
right out of the can.

You have some’a yore teeth
for which I am proud.
I hold my head high
when we’re in a crowd.

On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I’m in hawg heaven
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo’re there fer yore man,
to patch up life’s troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo’re as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin’ overhead.
You ain’t mean like those far ants
I found in my bed..

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete.
Ain’t nuttin’ I lack.

Yore complexion, it’s perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin’
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin’.

Me “n” you’s like a moon pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for a Valentine’s Day,
they git it at Wal-Mart,
it’s romantic that way.

Some men git roses
on that special day
for the cooler at Krogers,
that’s impressive, I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
“Diamonds are forever”,
they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
these won’t do.
Cause yo’re too special,
you sweet thang you..

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds….
IT’S A NEW TROLL’N MOTOR!!!

Very touching, I had to blot my eyes 3 or 4 times just to finish reading that fine piece of work. If that doesn’t get you laid man. . . what can I say? There’s not justice in this world.

I couldn’t agree more. These are the loveliest poems one has ever laid their eyes on.