Random Unrelated Image: Doggy Style

Whenever I’m taking a test to see if I’m psychic, when the test-giver asks, “What am I thinking?” The answer is always the same, “I would really like to fuck you.” They probably do. This applies if the test-giver is male or female.

I like dogs. Really I do. They’re just not all that complicated. There are about a half-dozen moods that a canine can go through within its’ lifetime: hungry, happy, sad, angry, horny, scared, and just-about-to-shit-on-the-carpet. I think that’s about it.

I set my alarm last night, as usual. Unfortunately, since I was reading a fantastic book till all hours of the day, I only left myself with about 4 hours of sleep before heading off to work. Usually, that’s not a problem for me. I estimate that somewhere around 3AM, my brain decided that we were going to get a full 8 hours of rest. My brain is really quite clever sometimes. I have to give it credit. How did it do such an insidious task? With a masterful plan. It delivered a nice, boring-yet-realistic dream where it’s Sunday morning, and I’ve set the alarm so I can get up before the family and have some “me” time. Brilliance on his part, because he knows I’d never wake up at 4 to go to do this. So obviously when 4 rolls around, I stand up, let laziness take the wheel, turn the alarm off, and roll back into bed. Round one goes to you, bastard. I think it’s time for a new alarm clock.

If I continue to hang out with international-type people, I’ll have to remember to remodel my bathroom. After all, if I plan on having French people over, they’ll need one of those ass-fountains, and perhaps a supply of fat burners.

Tags: Alarm Clock, Bastard, Brain, Brilliance, Carpet, Doggy, dogs, Fountains, French People, Horny, Hours Of Sleep, Lifetime, Masterful Plan, Moods, New Alarm, Random Image, random thoughts, Realistic Dream, Shit, Sleep, Sunday Morning, Wheel

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