You Can Buy Anything From Amazon

Further proof that you can buy anything on the interwebs…

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The Specs:

Radioactive sample of uranium ore. Useful for testing Geiger Counters. License exempt. Uranium ore sample sizes vary. Shipped in labeled metal container as shown. Shipping Information: We are always in compliance with Section 13 from part 40 of the NRC Nuclear Regulatory Commission rules and regulations and Postal Service regulations specified in 49 CFR 173.421 for activity limits of low level radioactive materials. Item will be shipped in accordance with Postal Service activity limits specified in Publication 52. Radioactive minerals are for educational and scientific use only.

Shipping Info:

We are always in compliance with Section 13 from part 40 of the NRC Nuclear Regulatory Commission rules and regulations and Postal Service regulations specified in 49 CFR 173.421 for activity limits of low level radioactive materials. Item will be shipped in accordance with Postal Service activity limits specified in Publication 52.

As usual, the customer reviews are the best:

I bought a can of this about 4.5 billion years ago, give or take a few million years, but when I went to use it today I noticed only half of it was still in the can. I swear I put the lid on tight. I’d give it more stars if it came in a better package.

Dear sirs, When I informed my wife that we were low on “yellow Cake” , I had expected her to get more “Duncan Hines”. On further examination and with a little trial and error, I have found my baking to be much lighter and fluffier. I would have only thought something like this would work on “The Simpson’s”. My hat is off to you (along with all my hair and most of my skin). An excellent product all around.

The Bush administration, with help from Congress, AIPAC, and an ersatz Fourth Estate, has accomplished its mission to freedom-nudge both Afghanistan and Iraq back to the stone age, denying the bad guys the infrastructure and electricity needed to access the internets, with the intention of purchasing large quantities of uranium and bonus free shipping and the added convenience of “one-click” check-out that only a quality outfit like Amazon can offer. On another note, Cheney has opened a new real estate franchise somewhere in the middle east.

My Dog The Theif

Anonymous Sports Betting

4:30 this morning I go to get in my car to head off to work. The motion light kicks on and my front yard looks trashed. Looking closer I see its not trash but belongings, and my dog, sitting there as proud as he could be. I don’t know what in the hell got into him last night but he managed to collect: 3 different flip flops, a welcome mat, a 2 gallon. watering can, a step stool, a reebok, a can of carburetor cleaner, 2 newspapers, a little yard sign saying welcome, a bicycle pump, a quart of power steering fluid, liquid adhesive remover, a spray gun for the hose, an ash tray, a cane, charcoal lighter fluid and a handful of other things that I can’t quite remember. In a hurry I toss everything in the garage, thinking I hope nobody drove by and saw something of theirs on my lawn. Now I don’t know If I should make a little sign and put this stuff on my driveway or toss it?

What would you do? I’m thinking of putting the stuff out so the owners can claim it. For the most part this stuff doesn’t appear as garbage. The little welcome sign still has dirt on the stake. This is the first time my pooch has ever done anything like this. If he does it again, I am legally changing his name to Klepto.

Sometimes The CC Just Writes Itself

I think that it should say “evacuating”…

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Subtitling / Closed Captioning obviously isn’t an exact science, but it should be a bit more of a science than this.

This photo of a television screen was taken on channel KABC-TV in Los Angeles. A reporter was explaining to viewers the importance of evacuating their homes. Unfortunately, the deaf and hearing impaired locked their doors and closed their curtains due the horrific crime they thought was taking place outside.