People need to become more proactive in social situations and stop worrying so much about hurting someone’s feelings. I’ll explain a little bit about what I am talking about.
I was sitting at my office desk the other day and I blew my nose. (Love those Puffs!) A couple of hours afterward, I got up and went to the bathroom to pee. Along the way I passed several people and of course had to stop and chat for a bit. Upon arrival at the bathroom, I looked into the mirror and saw a string of snot that had dried to a crust upon my nose. Part of it was still going up into my nostril like an earthworm trying to escape the wrath of a hungry Robin.
From the time that I had blew my nose till the time I went to the bathroom I had came into contact with several people. WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME THAT THERE WAS A CRUSTY BOOGER ON MY NOSE? Were you afraid of offending me?…well don’t be. Each person that didn’t tell me allowed me to be seen by another person that probably had a good laugh after I walked on by.
Listen up everyone, if someone needs to know something, TELL THEM! I do!
Case in point, one of the employees at my work couldn’t have showered more than once every couple of weeks. He didn’t use deodorant either. The job he does causes him to sweat, so the stench that radiated from his armpits was quite unbearable at times. Everyone used to laugh and steer clear when he came around. The poor fella had to have felt like an outcast. It made me sick to my stomach that no one would take the initiative to tell him that he needed to take a bath more often, and use deodorant. I decided I had enough and told him one day. I wasn’t being offensive or embarrassing, just simply telling him the truth. He told me thanks, and that he wasn’t aware that it was bothering people so much. He was hurting the productivity of the company even though he wasn’t aware of it. The time wasted when people stood around to talk about him was beginning to add up. This fella hasn’t came to work stinky since our conversation about 6 months ago. No one knows about it but him, I, and now the blogosphere.
Here are a few pointers I would like to give everyone:
- If someone is acting like an asshole, tell them.
- If someone has a booger hanging out of there nose, tell them.
- If someone has food in between their teeth, tell them.
- If someone stinks, literally or figuratively, tell them.
- If someone gossips too much, tell them.
You get the idea…there are a lot more than 5 I could list here. If you become proactive, there is a good chance that you will get a thank you, and the person will respect you more. Except for that asshole guy…he will probably get pissed and not talk to you for a month or two…and that makes it even better!
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I’m all for letting people know about boogers and downed zippers. But, how about if a coworker came to work with the worst haircut. Should I be honest and tell her it looks like a two-year old cut her hair? Or should I just smile and say, “nice”?
I have a couple of different takes on your situation. If the co-worker is a nice lady, you may want to ease into a conversation about where she got her done and lead up you ultimately saying something like, “I hope you didn’t have to pay much for that”. Expect her to take offense anyway.
If the lady is not a nice person, a general “point & laugh” followed by a very loud “That is the WORST haircut I have ever seen” should do the trick. There is a possibility you could be fired for harassment, but at least you don’t have to look at that hair anymore!
Thanks for your suggestions. Shes actually a nice lady. Would it be bad if just sent her an anonymous note?
No, anonymity works well, especially if you don’t want to personally offend.