Archive for November, 2008

So what’s your crazy idea that will someday earn you millions of dollars?

Back in the day, it was adding a clock to any everyday object. These days, it’s slapping a camera or an mp3 player on something to make it the new hotness. Perhaps it’s your bigger better badder nose hair trimmer, or some bastardization of the flowbee. Maybe you are thinking of something slightly fancier than common area rugs… - what’s your better mousetrap?

Tags: Area Rugs, Array, Badder, Bastardization, Better Mousetrap, Bright Idea, Clock, Crazy Idea, Flowbee, Hotness, Mp3 Player, Nose Hair Trimmer

I was at the doctor on Nov. 7th for routine maintenance and told me that since I live in a house with small children, I simply must get a flu shot or risk the kids getting sick from me if I were to get sick. My wife had a flu shot (READ: DEAD FLU VIRUS) a week earlier.

I was expecting a flu shot, but the nurse brings in a “Flu Mist” (READ: LIVE FLU VIRUS) which she says is much better than the shot because it lasts for an entire year. The alternative shot only lasts for three months. She also stated that my two year old daughter would be getting the mist also because it’s much easier to squirt something up a kids nose vs. giving them a shot.

I tilt my head back, and get misted in one nostril, then the other. Pinkster gets the same.

About an hour later, my nose began dripping. I wasn’t expecting it at all.

Pinkster was having the same problem.

It has now been almost two weeks, and my eyes are watering, my head is pounding, my sinuses are clogged for a while, then they are leaky for a while, and I haven’t been able to sleep for a week now. Pinkster seems to be doing better than me.

I am drinking plenty of Vitamin C, and eating well, but I can’t kick this shit.

I wasn’t told prior to receiving the mist that it was a live virus. Nothing was said about it. It wasn’t until the nurse was leaving the room when she handed me a paper with possible side effects from the “LIVE VIRUS”.

One of the side effects was “Flu Like Symptoms”. Fuck Me.

It doesn’t really take a rocket scientist to figure out that putting a live flu virus up a persons nose will give them Flu Like Symptoms.

It should have read “Common Cold Like Symptoms” because that is more what it feels like.

The Sniffling, Sneezing, Aching, Coughing, Stuffy-head, Fever, Give yourself a cold medicine.

But hey, at least I am supposed to be moderately protected from getting the flu! And the longer I stay sick, the less likely I’ll need something like Leptovox.

Tags: Cold Medicine, Fever, Flu, Flu Like Symptoms, Flu Mist, Flu Shot, Flu Symptoms, Flu Virus, Medicine, Nostril, Nurse, Pinkster, Rocket Scientist, Routine Maintenance, Sinuses, Sleep, Squirt, Stuffy Head, Three Months, Vitamin C

By the time this storm is over, we will probably have close to 20″ of snow.

It’s times like these that I wish I had a PS3. Unfortunately, I don’t have the extra cash ($400) lying around asking to be spent on a gaming system. And if I did have an extra $400 it most likely wouldn’t be spent on that. With two kids, most of my money goes to diapers and wipes….

Tags: Diapers, Extra 400, Extra Cash, Gaming System, money, Ps3, Snow Gallery, White Death

When Hollywood decides to film my life story, I expect that the finale will be a masked ball to which all current, past, and future presidents will be invited. Along with the rest of the free world. The masks are obviously required in the interests of confidentiality.

However, my question is:

Who would YOU like to represent YOU on screen?

(Since it’s only hypothetical, you can choose people who are alive or dead.)

In case you wondered, Adam Savage will be playing me. Our resemblance is sometimes uncanny, so it has to be him.

Tags: Confidentiality, Finale, Hollywood, Masked Ball, Masks, Presidents, Resemblance, Savage