Archive for September, 2008

I mostly mean people in media (ie: not people in your daily life, but please feel free to share if you have a real life example). I only have a few but I am always surprised when I find myself attracted to a person I normally wouldn’t find physically attractive or sexy.

There is no order here to mine, I’m just listing.

• That girl from the ziplock baggie commercials with the really high pitched voice. I’ve looked all over for a video of her so those of you that haven’t seen the commercial know what I am talking about, but I can’t seem to find one.

• Kris Williams from Ghost Hunters. She is only televised via a night vision camera, or in extreme low light situations. I think that adds to the mystique.

• Martha Stewart. I really don’t want to explain this one…But I will say that this lady knows a little bit about everything. I once watched a show where she went into a long explanation about how to get rid of acne, and she swore by it.

Speaking of TAPS, they did a show in West Virginia last year and were only a couple hours drive from where I live. They investigated the place formerly known as “Weston State Hospital”. It was an insane asylum that all the locals here are familiar with.

If you want to watch the full episode, you can do so via this link rite chere… http://www.imdb.com/video/hulu/vi2984509465/

Tags: Acne, Caption, Chere, Commercials, Couple Hours, Ghost Hunters, How To Get Rid Of Acne, Hulu, Imdb, Insane Asylum, Kris Williams, Light Situations, Little Bit, Locals, Martha Stewart, Mystique, Night Vision Camera, Person Find, Pitched Voice, Sexy, Taps, West Virginia, Weston

What’s the deal with baby strollers these days? My wife was in the dressing room of a store this past weekend when I was nearly run down and maimed while waiting for her in the next aisle. It was a baby stroller, but there was no baby in it. This lady had the damn thing packed to the top with shopping bags and watching her maneuver it through the tight aisles in the overcrowded store was pretty funny until she came my way.

Like I said, it was packed like the Grinch’s sleigh without a baby anywhere in sight. Yet, when I didn’t yield the entire aisle to her, she gave me one of those Armed Parent Militia coldcock stares that said, “Can’t you see I’m a fucking parent with a fucking BABY STROLLER??!!?? Move it, lardass!” She made me feel as if I needed to hire a real estate agent so I could buy myself some floor space. I noticed that other customers moved very quickly out of her way when they glimpsed the baby stroller, so I think I smell a rat.

Again, no baby (unless she’d just bought it).

Is this common where you live? Baby stroller shopping with no baby? I’ve actually seen a couple of stores place a sign out front that said, “No baby strollers, please.”

I am a proud parent myself, and I have to say that people like this tend to ruin things for those of us that actually use baby strollers to stroll our babies. On second thought, maybe she left her kid in the dressing room or something. Come to think of it, it was probably sleeping quietly under the 37 pounds of goods she was toting around.

Tags: Aisles, babies, Baby Shopping, Baby Stroller, Baby Strollers, Damn Thing, Dressing Room, Floor Space, Fucking Baby, Grinch, Militia, Next Aisle, people, Proud Parent, Rat, Real Estate Agent, Second Thought, Shopping Bags, Stares, Tight

I arrived home Thursday evening to the stench of body odor and gasoline, and I immediately knew that my package from Georgia had arrived.

I won a contest that Heather from Confessions of a Coal Miners Granddaughter had on her blog a few weeks ago. The premise of the contest was simple. Heather posted several questions about herself, and whoever had the correct answers would win whatever crap she decided to throw out of her house.

Me, being the uber internet stalker that I am, won. I answered all the questions correctly. I think that it stems from the fact that she too, used to be a fellow Mountaineer.

The package contained the following items:

• A bag of Starbucks coffee.
• A Georgia shot glass.
• A Georgia peach keychain.
• A postcard that read “The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.”
• A book of more Georgia postcards.
• The movie Deliverance.
• The famous “Confessions of a Coal Miners Granddaughter T-Shirt“.
• Two green grapes.
• One blue bowl.
• And a partridge in a pear tree.

Everything but the kitchen sink (or should I say kitchen faucets was in there). A lot more than what I expected.

Thanks for all the stuff Heather. I could have lived without all the baby vomit on the shirt though. I get enough of that here.

Tags: Body Odor, Coal Miners, Confessions, Correct Answers, Deliverance, Gasoline, Georgia Peach, Granddaughter, Green Grapes, Internet Stalker, Keychain, Kitchen Faucets, Kitchen Sink, Partridge In A Pear, Partridge In A Pear Tree, Premise, Shot Glass, Starbucks, Starbucks Coffee, Stench, t-shirt, Vomit