Archive for August, 2007

• A ‘jiffy’ is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

• Impotence is legal grounds for divorce in 24 American states.

• Armadillos have four babies at a time, always all the same sex. They are perfect quadruplets, the fertilized cell split into quarters, resulting in four identical armadillos.

• Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades – King David, Clubs – Alexander the Great, Hearts – Charlemagne, and Diamonds – Julius Caesar.

• An apple, onion, and potato all have the same taste. The differences in flavor are caused by their smell. To prove this – pinch your nose and take a bite from each. They will all taste sweet. (Do this while standing under a wall sconce with a mistletoe hanging on it and get extra credit!)

An English professor wrote the words: “A woman without her man is nothing” on the chalkboard and asked his student to punctuate it correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote: “A woman, without her man, is nothing.”

All of the females in the class wrote: “A woman: without her, man is nothing.”

Punctuation is powerful!

Ann Landers challenged her readers to come up with the world’s third-biggest lie — right after “The check is in the mail” and “I’m from the government and I’m here to help you.” Here is a sampling from the thousands she received:

- “It’s a good thing you came in today. We only have two more in
stock.”

- “Five pounds is nothing on a person of your height.”

- “You made it yourself? I never would have guessed.”

- “Of course I’ll respect you in the morning.”

- “You don’t look a day over 40.”

- “Dad, I need to move out of the dorm into an apartment of my own so I can have some peace and quiet when I study.”

- “It’s delicious, but I can’t eat another bite.”

- “The new ownership won’t affect you. The company will remain the same.”

- “Your hair looks just fine.”

- “Put away the map. I know exactly how to get there.”

- “You don’t need it in writing. You have my personal guarantee.”

OK, actually the above is a joke, but I wonder if you could suggest any more good lies?